The Lincoln Log

High school dating is a worthwhile experience. Not because you will find the one person who will love you in spite of all your flaws, and support you in everything you do, but because after a while, you will meet people who do not fit your expectations of the right person.

Then after meeting all these people you will generate a more vivid definition of the type of person you actually do want to give your time and affection to. Also, through dating in high school, you can learn a great deal about yourself. Besides knowing the characteristics you’re attracted to, you get to see how you deal with problems on a one-on-one basis. You’ll get to see if you can deal with stress affecting other areas of life, how your priorities are maintained or rearranged and if loyalty and honesty is a strong suit of yours, as well as a number of other things. The insanities of dating can be beneficial if they are experienced in high school. It would be better to have experience with relationships and know more about yourself when you are 17, instead of when you are 45.

From the first person you “go” with to the last , the thing you want to remember for nostalgic purposes are the nice things about each person: their abilities to carry a conversation, brightness and cheerfulness, positivity and humor. But in order for one to learn from all five or fifty, one must keep in mind all of the flaws that each person carried with him or her: compulsive lying, flirtatiousness, vanity, selfcenteredness, superficiality and stubbornness. If one can recognize each flaw they encounter as one they cannot deal with in the future, then one can understand what they want in a person by understanding what they do not want. Also, you can develop a physical preference as far as those you are attracted to. Although it is a shallow concept, at best,everyone must admit that especially in high school, one’s appearance plays a significant role in choosing a boyfriend or girlfriend.

The type of arguments that arise in relationships don’t show you much about yourself, since that issue has been argued about one million times between one million couples in the past. But instead, the manner in which you deal with them and the role you play, whether it be the water that puts the fire out, or the gas that fuels the flame, tells you far greater about yourself. We’ve all experienced the issue of jealousy if we’ve ever given another person our feelings and trust. An old love, a new “friend”, or just the occasional person hitting on the one we care about can set off a flurry of emotions. “Who was he?Why’d he call you? Why’d you accept that gift?” It’s important to understand your own initial and long term response to someone that you perceive as a threat. Are you angry? Concerned? Murderous? Relaxed? Un-phased? And it’s even more important to gain the ultimate truth that no one should ever be a threat, because the person you’re with should have your full trust. Your significant other’s response to actions from other people that may potentially make you feel uncomfortable is just as important as your own reaction. It’s key to note if your girlfriend or boyfriend takes every step necessary to make you feel reassured and unthreatened.

Relationships carry an enormous deal of stress on us, especially as teenagers, that can have huge affects in other areas of life. After that jealousy issue, how emotionally stable are you? Do you just move on and go about your life? Do you continue to sit on the problem? Or do you get so consumed by the problem that your will to move and get out of bed in the morning has been sucked from you? As one who has personally gone through all of those emotions, a deep sense of hurt, and unanswered questions mounting within me left me feeling less than cared about and caused me to live in a perpetual teenage hell-hole. My GPA dropped and my priorities were misplaced. But, I’m thankful it all happened now, because the bad traits in that person I was have given a greater contrast and clarity to the qualities I want in a girlfriend in the future; defining what is desirable by what is not desirable.

Being with someone will also test your integrity as a person. Situations will occur where you will have that opportunity to take the pressure off a problem by lying. Whether you choose to lie and pretend to care about that person, or whether you tell the truth and bear the consequences will show your devotion to that person and the level of honesty you strive to maintain. And obviously, if you cannot maintain a decent level of honesty with that person, and yourself, then you are not ready to be in a relationship.

Through experience, a person can determine to some degree, what kind of qualities, characteristics, and morals a significant other should have. High school dating is worth the time because of the value of self-discovery through problem solving, or problem exacerbating when your in a relationship with another person.

It’s almost guaranteed you won’t find true love in high school, but you will get your vision blurred by emotions. If you keep your eyes open and try to learn from experience, you’ll be able to see the right person when he or she comes along.